Tag: Parenting

January 8, 2022
/ Leave a Comment on Better Parenting?

7 min
2 years
1,264 word
1

Tagged Friends, Friendship, Pandemic, Parenting

Better Parenting?

It is important to understand that parents can and should be friendly with their children, with the appropriate boundaries and rules set in place and made explicit.

Author: Lavanya Murali

As the world progresses, the parenting styles, adopted in order to rear children, diversify with the population density while evolving over the years. The various patterns are methods changing from authoritarian to authoritative to attachment. The article seeks to analyse the best method of parenting that a parent might adopt for their child. Along with dealing with the concept of parents as best friends of the child.

Different Parenting Styles

Authoritarian parenting is the strictest parenting style. It involves high expectations from the child, with low responsiveness. There is a higher focus on obedience, discipline and control, while nurture and appropriate socialising are not seen.
Authoritative parenting involves high demands, but there is an equal amount of responsiveness from the parents as well. They are consistent in setting limits and boundaries and have a healthy relationship with the child.
Attachment parenting is a parenting method that encourages a close relationship between parents and children. Which is not merely through empathy, but proximity and physical contact as well. Clearly, the parenting styles have evolved in such a way that parents are progressively getting closer to their children. They try to achieve a friendly relationship with the child.

Arising from this is the conundrum –

Can parents really be friends with their children?

Encouraging healthy boundaries and being there when your children need it is one thing but are friendship and friendly parenting the same thing?

Barbara Harvey, the executive director of Parents, Teacher and Advocates in Atlanta, which helps parents become better at parenting, said that, “Children want and need boundaries. They cannot ask questions about how far it is to go. They depend on parents to set the parameters and keep them safe.” Not providing these boundaries can cause the child to experience stress. Giving children the freedom to explore their relationships with others and their parents is important, but children require boundaries. With no guidance, they might even find it difficult to understand limits and extremities. This means they might not understand when other people draw the line, and may not be able to draw the line in their relationships with other people.

Both these outcomes can lead to distress, anxiety, self-depreciation, low self-esteem, insecurities in relationships and an inaccurate understanding of what to expect from a healthy relationship. That is to say, when a child goes to a parent for advice, or asks questions, about any kind of curiosity, the parents should attempt to educate the child appropriately to the best of their abilities. So that, the child receives the information from a trusted, experienced source rather than from somewhere on the internet.

How does being a friend makes a difference?

It is different when a child sees a parent as their best friend. The child sees their guide as a trusted confidant and a pillar of support when needed. Parents must be emotionally available and ready to provide this support when needed. The kid, thus, has a reliable person to depend on.

However, there might be repercussions. When a parent identifies their child as their best friend, they often become involved in adult situations, which they are not mentally or emotionally prepared for. When a parent views a child as their best friend, they involve the child in their life without healthy boundaries. They treat them as they would treat an adult best friend – as a confidant. This often forces the child to grow up too quickly, without being given the space to develop emotionally and psychologically as a child at that age should. They feel the need to support and guide the adult, while it should be the other way around.

Nicole Beurkens, a licensed psychologist with the Horizons Developmental Resource Center in Michigan, said that, “Parents need to be firmly in the role of guide — and be willing and able to set whatever rules and expectations are needed, including appropriate consequences, for the good of the child.” By shrouding their development in this manner, parents expecting their child to be their best friend can be alarming and concerning.

Importance Of Boundaries

Friendly relationships between parents and children can be constructive, provided the appropriate boundaries are set, and there are rules that are established. Without these, the child may rebel against any rules set later in the relationship, and may be confused about their role. They may even view their parents as hypocrites who have it out to get them. They may not be able to cope with the idea that parents cannot be treated in the same way that friends can. The power dynamics involved must provide parents with the ability to discipline their child when needed. When this is absent, the child will have too much power in the relationship. Also, they may not be able to wield it in a suitable manner to provide the maximum developmental benefits to themselves.

It must be understood that this does not mean parents should discourage democracy, individuality and independence in their child. For the child to become a competent adult and a productive member of society, they must be given the freedom to explore their identity as an individual. They must understand their role and expected contributions to society. During the process, the parent must encourage their child. They should allow the kids the space needed to achieve this identity confirmation. While being there in times of crisis to coach and guide the child through their problems. If the child is given freedom, they require a mentor to educate them when they encounter difficulties. Without guidance on how to use this freedom effectively and derive the greatest benefits from it, the child’s development may be stunted.

Adversities of Emotional Unavailability

Problems arise, If the parents are emotionally unavailable and do not provide the proper resources to help the child when needed. In such cases, childern become closed off and insecure. They may not be able to navigate through problems easily. They end up facing many difficulties in terms of handling the process of development, while navigating a crisis without an older mentor to guide them. On the other hand, if a parent constantly smothers their child and is overly involved in the child’s life, they may wish to break free and may engage in rebellious acts that could be harmful. The child may feel suffocated since they are not allowed their private space. Also, they may fail to recognise themself as an individual. The lines between their desires and their parents’ desires get blurred, and they are unable to view themself as an independent member of society.

To Sum Up

It is important to understand that parents can and should be friendly with their children. But with the appropriate boundaries and rules set in place and made explicit. Parents should be available to encourage and support the child as they develop. They must be willing to provide, or find someone who can provide appropriate guidance as a mentor when the child is in need of it. A child may view the parent as a best friend, but when a parent views a child as a best friend, the child is thrust into an unfamiliar situation which they are not prepared for. With which they might end up growing up too fast, without the space to develop as they should. Parents and children, therefore, should have an amicable, mutually understanding relationship. However, boundaries are imperative in order for both to feel secure and safe in the relationship.

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Parent’s knowledge and Child-caring strategies in Indian Slum Areas

Article

June 16, 2021
/ Leave a Comment on Parent’s knowledge and Child-caring strategies in Indian Slum Areas

5 min
3 years
881 words

Tagged Care, Child, Indian slum areas, Parenting, Parents

Parent’s knowledge and Child-caring strategies in Indian Slum Areas

The gap between parent’s knowledge and practice of child-caring strategies in Indian slum areas. Parenting refers to the process of raising a kid which has multiple tasks and behaviors that incorporate a direct impact on child outcomes.

The gap between parent’s knowledge and practice of child-caring strategies in Indian slum areas

AUTHOR : DR. SHRUTI

Parenting refers to the process of raising a kid which has multiple tasks and behaviors that incorporate a direct impact on child outcomes. It promotes and supports the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a baby from minority to adolescence. Different parenting styles could vary by race, ethics, socio-economic class, and time period. Childcare refers to the caring and direction of a baby, from infancy to adulthood. Care includes basic wants to social and psychological needs. Few factors like financial gains, socio-economic class, wealth, and culture/cultural values have a big impact as it defines which parenting methods parents use for child care. A parenting vogue is representative of the atmosphere at home. Childcare is a necessary element of one’s life as it marks a significant impact on a child’s development.

Below are some vital aspects of kid care-

Food/Shelter – Mother has the core responsibility of maintaining the quality of food for the children. Food being the basis of life, it not only provides growth to a child but also helps in intellectual development and social well-being. During the first three years of one’s life, a child develops tastes and habits. The harmonious bonding between the mother and the child helps a child to have appropriate eating habits.
Cleanliness/Toileting – Bathing a baby is itself a learning habit. This helps in developing a positive bond between mother and baby. It usually takes a month for a baby to pass normal stool. The color initially ranges from dark green to yellow. Bottle-fed usually has a yellow greenish stool.
Dressing – Dressing a baby is also an art, as it is required to distract them which can be done easily by their toys so that a mother can dress her baby.
Sleep cycle – Sleep is a congenital habit which can’t be hampered. As age advances, sleep duration reduces.

Apart from above, there are a few more like-

Safety and Public Health – Giving protection to children from injuries, physical and mental abuse.
Emotional and Behavioral Capacity – Promotes positive behavior, handling stress, overcoming fears, to simply accept rejections and disappointment. It helps in promoting and managing positive behavior.
Social Capability – Promotes maintaining a harmonious and positive relationship with peers. Make the kid understand empathy, concern feelings, cooperation, and sharing nature.
Cognitive Competence – It promotes the development at each stage of his/her life by enhancing skills and capacities.

Childcare is typically influenced by the responsibility of the mother; therefore, the mother’s knowledge has considerably influenced the standard of care given to the child. The level of education incorporates a positive impact on the information of parents as they are significantly related; it shows how they cope up with childcare. Apart from knowledge, the perspective of a mother conjointly makes a positive distinction in childcare.

The child outcomes mentioned above offer the association for considering the – parenting Knowledge, Practices, and additionally Perspective /Attitude. The term “Knowledge” means facts and skills gained from expertise. The term “Attitudes” pertains to viewpoints, perspectives, and thinking methods. It may be related to cultural beliefs. And the term “Practices” refers to parenting behaviors that can shape the development of a kid. In short, knowledge relates to intellect, attitudes relate to encouragement, and practices relate to behavioral ways.

Many studies showed that parents from rural settings have less knowledge about childcare. As parents from slums follow cultural beliefs and not the information provided to them by healthcare providers of their area. Like presently, the myth is spreading in rural and slum areas about death after taking COVID vaccine. Another example, mothers from rural settings/slums prefer breastfeeding and don’t want to add bottle milk, solid diet and juice, pulses on the advice of a doctor as their elder told them just to breastfeed. Also, parents are not aware of the immunization status of their child, as they are not aware of the benefits of the vaccines administered at different intervals of a child’s age.

Child-care is a complex series that starts even from breastfeeding. It is not only limited to feeding, sleep, hygiene but it should also promote healthy and safe surroundings for a child which should ensure emotional and social support to a kid. It also provides a happy nature to a child.

Recommendations for promoting child care:

There are many schemes available which parents should use to get aware of nutrition, immunization, and development of a child such as ICDS (Integrated Child Development Scheme). Apart from these, below are some recommendations which can be done to help promoting child-care:

Mothers should consult pediatricians to get updated about diet and nutrition for their children.
Mothers can read magazines which have child-care articles.
Should play a distinct role in getting aware of the child-care practices.
Local healthcare providers with the help of ASHA (Accredited Social Health Activist) workers can organize awareness camps through electronic media which can encourage parents to take care of their children.
Print media can also play a role in motivating parents.
Parents should use family planning methods that lead to the small number of children per family member.
Should respond to a child’s emotional needs.

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